I see love for a lover to be a very powerful spiritual experience.
I think the best love one could ever share with their lover, (as well everyone else that we love), is one of detachment. That is not
to say, you can't have a monogamous relationship - you can with a detached love.
Detached love, is love that is truly free. You freely love your lover,
but have let go of the attachments that your lover MUST fill YOUR needs. You also freely accept, that your lover is their own individual
and they must do and seek and experience things for themselves, and some of those things WILL be in your absence. They kind of have
to be, when you think about it.
It takes a strong self-love to be able to have a detached love. With a strong self-love, one comes to realize, they truly are the only one
that can fill the void in their heart. Many times, people try to feel that
empty void with others, and others cannot do that. That position is only reserved for YOU.
When one does achieve a detached love, they find an amazing, beautiful, powerful sense of freedom within themselves. All
insecurities drop, for their is nothing to fear. The biggest fear of all attached loves - is the fear of loss - losing the one we love.
The one who has attained detached love can more easily endure even the death of a loved one - knowing it was their time to cross
back into the spirit world, and that their own time will come for them at a proper time chosen long before birth. Whereas a
severely attached lover, may contemplate suicide.
This again, is a fine example of how having a detached love, is very liberating for YOU - it's not just a gift to your lover.
Also, a detached love sets your loved one free. And we all know what happens at the end of that cliche - "if you love someone,
set them free and they will come back to you". The loved one is not smothered, and feels as free to be their true selves with
their lover, as they do with themselves.
Whereas a severely attached lover, clings with all of their might to hold on to the one they love, so consumed with fear that they
will lose their lover and that their lover will leave them. In doing this they smother their lover, and then in that essence pushes
the one they love away from them, causing the very action they feared.
Experiencing love attached or detached is a beautiful mirror to reflect to ourselves, where we are spiritually, if we only
but pause to look into it. If we do, we can then decide from there, where we are, and where we want to go from there.
Are we stagnant? Do we wish to progress? Are we progressing? If we are, most of quickly choose to continue on that path.
For those who love with attachment - to progress is the first step to healing. It won't rob you of your lover, which is
what many fear, and is why they won't even consider a detached love. Many will even say, they've never heard of it, or thought
of it. But if you search deep down inside of you - it's there. You do know it, but you pushed it away, because it scared you.
Because you feared loss - which is very understandable.
Have compassion on yourself, and honor that fear. It has merit. Just realize that fear is an illusion, and actually pushes you away
from your true goal of feeling secure in your love.
Breathe.
My
love to you and God
bless!
