Finding
Continuous Joy
by: Seqkat ©
2002
Have you ever met a person who
always seemed so happy? Even while at work they remain bubbly
and cheerful. Did you think to yourself, "I wish I could be
that happy..."?
You can!
I hear you, "Yeah,
yeah...how do you know?" I know because
I'm one of those cheerful bubbly people, and I see the reactions of
amazements to others who meet me. I'm not gloating in any
way. I'm just showing you I have the credentials to show
you how to obtain that continuous joy.
We'll start out by defining the
difference between happiness and joy - yes, there's a
difference. Happiness is a cognate to happen, what happens
around you, what is currently happening right now for you. If
all your circumstances are good, what is happening is good and this
makes you happy. So, you can see with this scenario,
happiness is a temporary state of being that relies on happy
circumstances to sustain its happiness.
Joy is a feeling of happiness no
matter what happens. Joy is not dependent upon good
circumstances. Joy is constant and faithful during all
circumstances.
I'm not saying, if a person has
joy that they never feel sadness, anger and/or frustration. I'm
saying it's a state of being in which they reside, it is what is
normal for them and it leads to a healthier, quicker bounce back to
their normal state from sadness or anger. It helps them to
endure stress and remain joyful despite it.
So, how does one get to a place
of residence in the realm of joy? You start with observation.
Observe the times you have been happy - very happy. Think about
those moments. Maybe it was the day you got married, or had a
child, got a pet or when you were ten years old and you got that bike
for Christmas you had always wanted. Consider and feel that exact
happiness, as if you were actually back at that time and place again.
Feel that happiness, totally. Ponder it until a
real smile subsconsiously creeps up on your face.
Now, observe a time that was not
happy for you, but is over, and you no longer suffer from it. A
situation or time or person you disliked. May you had a mean
sixth grade teacher, that made you feel miserable, or maybe you had a
fight with your friend that kept you two silent and separate for a
long period of time. Feel that misery.
Step back into that place for a moment, and consider how you felt
until that smile you had, has now faded.
Now come back to today, when this
bad situation is over. Do you feel a sense of relief? Does
a phrase similar to the following one come to mind, "Boy, I'm
glad that is over." You are thankful this period in your
life has ended.
Now, compare the two scenarios.
In the first scenario you thought about a happy time, and you were
actually happy right now, thinking of a time in the past. In the
second scenario, you thought of a bad time in your past, and felt that
badness again right now. Do you see the power of your
thoughts? Your thoughts affected your mood and how you
felt.
Hmm... are THOUGHTS
a key to
joy? 
Now, I want to you think about
your life right now. It would behoove you to get a pen and
paper or pull up a notepad on your computer and make a list.
Write or key the things in your life right now that you like and
enjoy. Include people, things you do and things you have.
Now, I'm going to write a very
small list, and show you the the perspective of this list from a
person who lacks continuous joy.
Our pretend person will be a
woman, and for the sake of what we are discussing here, we'll call
her, Joy. 
Now, beside Joy's list, I'll
include what exactly she was thinking, as she wrote them.
Everything Joy wrote will be in red.
What she thought will be in blue.
What I like and
enjoy:
My husband
- I wish he would pick up his laundry
better, and will he ever get to fixing that that broken shelf, and if
he could just take the trash out once without me asking...
My daughter
- Oh, these teenage years are the worse!
All she does is live on that phone, and her grades have dropped again.
Grounding her from television didn't work last time, I wonder what I
should do this time...
My cat - He
is shedding non-stop these days, and he keeps scratching the sofa,
will he ever learn? Oh, I need to clean that darn litterbox
again. I wish I could train him to use the toilet. Oh,
that reminds, it's time to buy catfood again! He's eating
me out of the house!..
My computer
- Oh, I'd love to have a new one.
Mine now is getting so slow, and now they have the new ones with the
flat screen, that would look so much better on my desk. It
froze up on me again last night. Oh, that reminds me I need to
defrag it again...
As you can see,
Joy wrote down the things she liked and enjoyed in her life, but did
her thoughts, as she wrote them, convey her joy? No. She
pondered on what she did NOT like about the things she enjoyed.
Now, let's take
Joy and place her in her home with these things she likes and enjoy,
but now, we'll flip the coin. We'll make her a person that does
have continuous joy. You already know some of the negatives in
these things that belong to Joy - keep those in mind while we now see
how her thoughts differ now with the perspective of one with
continuous joy.
What Joy is
doing will
be in red and her thoughts
and what she says
will be in blue.
Joy is
sitting at her computer. She goes to do something, and the computer
freezes yet again. She let's out a little groan and reboots.
It's slow in rebooting, so while she waits, she leans over and pets
her cat. "Hi, Kitty...Mommy's
computer froze up on her again, but that's okay, for that gives me an
extra moment to pet you." Joy smiles
as the kitty responds, with purrs and rubbing up against her hand.
"Oh, that reminds me, I need to
clean your litter box. I might as well do that now."
Joy
went to her task. As she cleaned it, the thought of this not
being fun came to her, but she argued with it with another thought,
"But
I love my kitty so much, he's so worth it."
Joy's
daughter comes home with another report card. She apologizes to
her mother as she hands it to her, due to grades that have fallen
again. Joy reads the report card then looks at her
daughter. "This is from
spending too much time on the phone, and not enough time on your
studies. I'm grounding you from the phone until these grades are
picked up." Joy frowned, as
she watched her daughter stomp out of the room and retreat angrily to
her room. Joy sighed. She
loves her daughter very
much. It's hard to be a parent at times, and do what is right
for your child, when you want to give the child what they want
too. Joy realized too, it's hard to be a child. It's
hard to see that which is good for you may conflict with that which
you desire to do. Joy decided to stand with her decision, but go hug
her daughter and give her some love.
Joy went to
the kitchen to start supper. She went to throw some trash in the
garbage, and saw that it was full. The thought of why her
hubby, hadn't taken it out came to her mind, but she brushed it off,
calling to her husband. "Dear,
would you mind taking the trash out, while I cook?"
He
obliged happily, and she looked up after him, as he went out the door,
smiling that she had a hubby that cared to do that for her, when she
asked.
Here you can see,
that even while dealing with the very same negatives, Joy's
thoughts kept her in a place of joy. Her thoughts
reflected thankfulness.
THANKFULNESS
is another key to joy.
You can never
enjoy that which you WILL GET, if you do not enjoy that which you HAVE
NOW. Are you listening? Let's read that again. You can never
enjoy that which you WILL GET, if you do not enjoy that which you HAVE
NOW. We'll look at Joy's computer for example. Her
computer is now getting slow, and starting to freeze more often.
It's nearing the time for a new one, but she cannot afford
that right now. Her computer though, still offers her the same
luxuries, as when she first bought it and she remains thankful and
grateful to that.
You very well,
may can relate to that scenario. The computer you are using
right now, could you use a newer one? A faster, smaller, cooler
looking one? Someone without continuous joy, will ponder on what
they need or want their computer to do that the current one is NOT
doing. Someone with continuous joy, is thankful, they have
A
computer that is functioning as well as it is.
They are thankful that they are NOT lacking a computer at all.
They are counting all the blessings that are available with the current
one, and they are thinking about and pondering those
blessings.
There we go, we're right back to that power of THOUGHT, one key, while
being THANKFUL
- our second key to joy.
So, thankfulness,
is another form of thought, and another positive form of thought, that
can keep us in the realm of joy.
Now, remember
that list you wrote of things in your life that you like and enjoy.
Look at that list. Ponder those things. If any negative
thoughts come to mind, argue with them with a positive thought.
Make a continuous
exercise over the course of the next three weeks - it takes three
weeks for a human to start a new habit, each day list five blessings
in your life and ponder them each, and argue any negative thoughts
that come to mind, with determined positive thoughts. Be sure on
each day you are listing five different blessings. This exercise
will teach you how to *think* more positively. And you'll be
amazed at how many blessings you actually have, that have been
escaping your thoughts. Be thankful for each blessing.
If you are a
person of faith, incorporate your faith with this exercise. Take
the time that you are pondering all the positive thoughts on each
item, one at a time, and thank the Creator for each positive thing
that you treasure in each of those blessings. This will even
increase your joy to a greater degree!
Enjoy!
My
love to you and God bless!
